Atonement.

.We all make mistakes, feel really guilty about making them wondering why we made them in the first place, wanting to be forgiven for our sins, which some people could not forget. They could not find it in their hearts to trust us again, because in their eyes you had committed the ultimate betrayal.

So you tried to move on with you lives and forget the past, try to atone for your sins, for all that was wrong and the mistakes that you made. Hoping one day that we would be forgiven or else die old, feeling guilty for something so deep into our hearts that the burden never truly faded away.

The truth is that you cannot undo what has now been done, for your behaviour your sins, your address, your lack of selflessness, your  flaws, I am no angel I do not deny that. Were there reasons for what you did? Did you just make an honest naieve mistake? Or did it go deeper, was it intentional? Did you apologise, get down on one knee were you pushed away to the side, too much resided in you deep inside.Was there a cause was it two sided can you make or break it did everything coincide?

We are not perfect, we hold people to high standards believing that they would not harm you. What happens when they do? Will you crumble will you fall? Will you tumble far below?

Let time take you far, forgive yourself, try to think of the future and not the past, bring your hands together pray a little more, remind yourself, that you have come this far, that what defines you now is how you deal with that mistake. Will you repeat it or will you learn from it? Your choice, two forks in the road, which one will you decide?

Snap.

Funny how easily it can break in two
Become two halves instead of one, whole
Something left you so incomplete and bare
Something you never appreciated, I wish I had, darent.

Snap, the paper falls time moving slowly through gravity and space, everything evolving constantly round the globe we call earth, full of tiny dots little people moving with determination and tenacity.
Suddenly your not the person you remember, everything has changed.
Is this real is this a dream? Are we fast forward are we moving? Are we really here? Is your face pale so full of fear.
You cannot go back, delve into the wayward past, but I still remember along slow remembered walks and memories.

Suddenly your falling down, floating from the ground, rising in the air from above, glittering lights, like fairy dust twinkle smiling, like happiness, like love.

There is no rhyme or reason, no tale worth telling, nothing significant nothing too realistic.
Nothing too sad, but something buried deep, beyond that secret place where memories cannot be seen. Locked away hidden in a box, but you will never find it.
Beyond the realms of fantasy, of tall green jungles full of toucans tigers and monkeys, there is a place that nobody knows of,
Its just you and me baby, who cares if its just a dream. Its ours, its mine its yours and we're together for eternity.

The Bird, The Beauty and The Beast.

Lets walk these long remembered memories
Down lanes which have no ends
Where everything is okay
Working so hard resisting against everything you are
Because the truth is your no beauty but a beast


Have you looked into the mirror
What do you see are you replulsed
Tear drops may fall but dont worry Ill be fine
Im falling falling who will be there to catch me
Perhaps this is all just a distant dream
Suddenly see true beauty as
I opened my arms and sprouted wings.

Free as a bird that may be with ruffled feathers
Rustling against my reality
Open your eyes can you see, feel that sweet smelling breeze
Like a spirit ghost whispering sweet melodies
Is there a lightness against the black
Will there be life amongst the dank dire, crime and petrified


Are you my angel so pure and white
You are my angel delight
If you knew then what you know now
Would you still be here would you still kiss me love me regardless

Is this a dream where happy endings are not few and far between
Where there is fairy dust and make believe
There lies gravity in reality but not in someone elses dream
So I jump and spread my wings
And in the distance I hear a bird sing.

Rainbows never end.

These pearlescent tears that fell
When you ran far away
When you kept running and didnt look back
At everything you had left behind
The people, passers by, everything that mattered.

The seasons changed quickly
From summer to spring,
Autumn to winter,
Yet things still seem the same
Not everything how its meant to be
What did it all mean
Why can't I just leave
Why wont you leave me be


These floods of memories float back
To sunshine, laughing on grass
Picnics, friends oh how sublime
Laughed like we had no care in the world
Had everything we ever thought we wanted
Full of dreams, love hope and possibility
Suddenly everything has changed, impossibly
Not everything was how it was meant to be

Make yourself believe,
In yourself, in hope in destiny
That you will feel that way again
Where rainbows have no end
Innocent smiles, lollipop sticks,
With carefree rebellion
Flying away like beautiful butterflies
Floating into careless oblivion
So mesmerising, sweet and happy.

Breakdown.

I think that the reason why sometimes we end up having such difficulty, and one of the main reasons why relationships of any kind break down is because of a lack of communication. We dont say how we feel because we are too afraid that if we do, we will end up hurting the other person by either making them angry or hurt or upset. Or sometimes we are just afraid to stick up for ourselves, and tell someone that we are hurting inside, or that we think you think less of us or whatever reason. Its so dangerous because it means sometimes we think something which is not the case at all.
If we were to tell each other how we felt, everything would be a lot better, because even if it did hurt you would be able to begin to negotiate, to understand, to hug to cry to begin to make things better. If we dont understand why or that you are hurting in the first place, it just leads to more confusion.Yes the truth hurts, but at least once its out there once its been said you can try to deal with it somehow.

Possibility.

I think it is possible for anyone to do as they want if they truly want something, no matter how small they are, like the Lord of The Rings. Ever been so afraid of failing where everyone was counting on you, where the whole world depended on  it, and you would feel let down if you let them all down. I am watching it at the moment, there is one part that always makes me cry: when Boromir is saving the two hobbits, no matter how many arrows get stuck in him he keeps fighting, even though he is so clearly dying because he wanted to save the little ones. Its such a heartwarming scene, have you watched Lord of The Rings? Such a good trilogy and I found out today that the Hobbit is coming out!! ^_^ Happy times.

Sometimes we are so afraid of failing, we dont try at all, I think we should rather try and fail and perhaps succeed then dont try and fail. Its going to be okay. I guess we just have to have faith in ourself. Corny? I know it is, but is true.

Ponderings.

This is my Walks to Remember, but I wanted to put some other things in here as well, I hope that doesnt make you frown upon me. I just keep thinking about different things. I wish that we could just be who we were in society, I sometimes feel that we fear that we are going to be judged for who we are too much like the quote goes never judge a book by its cover. Its so hard to be ourselves, because lets face it people do judge us for being different. We're too fat, too skinny, straight, gay spotty,smooth skin. How are we ever supposed to be ourselves on this? So much meaning is placed on the outside, makes me think of beauty and the beast, which is a good story although I was afraid of the beast when I was younger I must admit. The teen years and childhood can be so difficult trying to find your place in the world, not being afraid of your own shadow hoping to fit in somehow. The thing is there is no such word as normal, different is good all the way. Such confusing times is teens years so much to think about, peer pressure, and many other things.

I am also in love with Adele at the moment particularly her song someone like you when I heard it on Comic Relief. Did any of you watch it?  Was so sad some of the things those people went through, makes you realise what you have right?

Enough of my philosophical rant. Please know your all beautiful as you are. Dont be afraid to be you. <3 Be brave, and bold there will always be people who will love you just as you are. Everyone else, doesnt matter. The saying goes of the people that say that stuff is the people who mind dont matter...

Thanks to whoever is reading this.