Sing in Front of An Audience

So one of the things on my list is to sing in front of an audience which I have done before, just been a while since have done it think the last time I sang on my own, was when I was 11 years old. Pretty scary stuff. Think I would still be terrified now if I had to do it now but sometimes you have to do things just to say you have done it but also because sometimes you need to challenge yourselves. I do rather like singing after all. Anyway I recently saw something at Pizza Express for auditions which can be uploaded via youtube. The competition has closed now, but anyway I entered into it and I doubt I will get anything out of it but the point is to try right? Anyway I don't normally post youtube songs, particularly because they are terrible, and not at all flattering, but if you do for any silly reason want to listen have posted some links below. Thanks for listening http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxbARg-cnbs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI9U7Yw5gVY&feature=related

Journey of Self Discovery

Perhaps the greatest stories are not those with a happy ending but those that have a moral, those that go beyond the road of self discovery. So that when the journey ends you realise, you not only know yourself better, but that all the hardships and laughter that you had among that journey was worth it was even necessary because it made you realise who you are. Do you ever wonder though who that person actually is? None of us know for sure where we are actually headed, some of us just seem to be bimbling along, hoping for something better to come along, not quite knowing which direction we are going and some in complete bliss. The reality is that nobody is perfect, and no-one should expect perfection, its too unfair and unrealistic to hold people to such high standards as we are all only human. Reminds me a bit of that One Tree Hill Song ' I never promised you a ray of light I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday I gave you everything I had the good bad. One thing is clear I wear a halo, when you look at me standing from here you wouldnt say so and I just want to love you. Why do you put me on a pedastool Im up so high I can't see the ground below... I have flaws and sometimes I even sin' Incidentally I do love that song, not just the words but the way its sung, with such heartfelt emotion. I think perhaps we hold people to such high standards, because we expect perfectionism in ourselves. I have come to realise though, that throughout life you do come to realise who your friends really are, who is important. Its hard letting go though sometimes, as naturally some friendships to fall to the wayside, through unforeseen circumstances or something else entirely whether preventable or not, sometimes you just have to accept something as it is whether you want to or not because its simply how it is. It is sad, but sometimes you do have to move on. Its important that we are loved, and treated with respect, and I hope with all my heart that you are, that you have someone who you know loves you for you and not for anyone else, who accepts you and who you can have a good time with. Thats what its all about, enjoying life and having fun. It shouldnt be a chore, as long as you live and enjoy! Be thankful for the things you have and not what you have lost. Thanks to whoever is reading.

The Reading List

So I have just started reading with my sister the Chronicles of Narnia collection, we have just finished The Magicians Nephew, which was really good, very important as well, the introductory book if you like the one where you understand who what where and how everything has come about. Have already read and watched the Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and are now reading The Horse and his Boy. So far so good :)

Must say The Magicians Nephew did make me laugh, not giving anything away but all I need to say is Tree and Uncle Andrew am sure you will know what I mean, wouldnt want to give away any spoilers...

Also bought The Secret Garden and Little Women absolute classics, havent started them yet, another thing to add to though as I don't think Little Women is up there. I must admit that the first thing I think of when it comes to Little Women is that episode of Friends where Joey reads it and Rachel reads The Godfather? or something like that and Joey puts the book in the freezer when he gets sad/scared. Which he does end up doing in this case, so I know that it will probably be a tear jerker.

Another thing to add to the list!

Right thats it! I have decided I am going to be a better person, and one of those things is going to be to learn to keep my gob shut! Not talk so much and actually think before I talk. Be more considerate. When will I learn? Instead of just talking talking talking. Woffle, woffle woffle.

39. Lobby your local MP

On the 17th July I sent an email to my local MP Andrew Tyrie about the bus system. I don't know if you know anything about it, but basically the Council only want to get rid of local buses to save THEM money... Nice eh? Particularly when we as a community rely on it. Especially the elderly, no point in having a free bus pass if you can't use it effectively.

Not to mention not being able to use the services going to and from the hospital. Quite important don't you think? They want to get rid of all sunday services, and evening services for weekdays. Not good!

Anyway I didnt expect him to respond, but I received a letter in the post today with a response from him. Was quite exciting all very official, the envelope even has House of Commons on it how very official...

Even got a signature from him, how exciting! So completed another off the list!

New Cooking Blog

Just wanted to let you all know I have started up a new blog, which I have linked on the tab next to home called Victoria's recipes and inspiration which will lead you to a link for my cooking blog. Feel free to have a look :)


Not much up there at the moment but there will be! Enjoy!

Ponderings.

At the end of the day we can either choose to float or swim. To go against the tide, thats taking us upstream in our boat, or go with the flow of the current letting it take us wherever the current goes.

The music in the backgrounds of our lives that can be tinted so softly with sadness, filled with bittersweet moments of joy.

Perhaps the reality is that we dont know what the day can bring, all we can do is hope, and do our best that everything will come right. We can only do our best, only be ourselves. Thats why we have to live our lives to the fullest, in case there isnt a tomorrow.

Do something completely different, that you would never do before, the world is very big after all.


So when you wake up tomorrow, instead of doing the expected, perhaps its time do something a little unexpected, a little out of the ordinary. Perhaps its a dream that you always wanted to pursue, or something you've always wanted to do.

We don't know how humans will behave when faced with a crisis or an obstacle until we come face to face with it. Watching Titanic has made me realise how despite the fact the love story is not true, there were many children who were left with their mothers, whilst the boat went down. The brave who didnt want to leave their loved ones behind, the ones who were so afraid that they fought, with the other lifeboats, something they didnt think they had, but was something more like a survival of the fittest. Some simply accepted what was going to happen to them as calmly as they could, whilst others perhaps were too hard on themselves. As portrayed in the film, such a sad, yet good film.

Just a few ponderings really.

Don't be afraid, of living your dreams, of doing things you always wanted to do because sometimes there comes a point when you are no longer able to do all of the things that you wanted. Take a chance! Live a little. Live your life, be happy people :)

70. Learn to Bake a Cake

Made cupcakes today, as I have been given this new piping set which I have been dying to try out, and I finally used it today.


There are some pictures below if your interested :) Was also wondering to anyone reading, was thinking of starting up my own cooking blog what do you think? Just really a collection of different recipes, trying out, pictures, my experiences of it, of what goes right and wrong. Perhaps a bit inspired by that film Julie/Julia has anyone ever seen it? The recipes she made were absolutely fabulous, and I know its just a film, but it seems such a great idea as I do like experimenting with different things. I could put up recipes healthy, unhealthy, cheap and cheerful, made up recipes and some not made up..

41. Race for Life

So number 41 completed! It was an absolutely amazing day. Everyone got soaking wet, including all the organisers and volunteers, very well set up I must say, plenty of refreshments and toilets and some undercover.

Got a taxi there with Helen Jones to the Garrison Ground at Bar End Road, and the turn out was amazing, some of the signs were rather sad, yet inspiring, things like in memory of my granny or to mum the survivor. Was so surprised as there were so many kids there, I even saw a mum and daughter holding hands so sweet. The ground was massive with everyone dressed up in tutus, fairy wings (me included), from clown outfits to glittery sandals.

All different ages, heights, builds groups, just a lot of fun really, the rain wasnt going to damper anyones spirits, felt so amazing, the atmosphere everyone there for a good cause.

We got there an hour earlier, got set up with my number and the reason we were racing me: 'My Auntie Fluff and Auntie Angela who I never got to know properly' and of course everyone affected but there were other sadder stories like to Mums and Dads.

Around half an hour before the race had two warm ups one was zumba which was really fun although felt a bit of an idiot, but the music was great and all of the heart radio sponsors were there. Then after that we were hanging around trying to get warm, everyone was smarter than me in wearing anoraks haha, but then we had another warm up of aerobics.

A very emotional speech from the person who had organised it, our Local Winchester MP also said a few words and we had a minutes silence to everyone who we were remembering for the race.

Then at 11:00 we were off! First the runners, then the joggers and then the walkers. So great seeing people even if you didnt know them supporting you, round the track, including Miss Helen Jones :). Some people managed to finish in 20 minutes, so fit they are! I managed to do it in 41 minutes, I was worried was going to take too long so am glad about that.

When I finally finished felt such a sense of achievement not just for me, but for everyone who raced for that one cause. Everyone cheering everyone else on, was really nice we got given a medal each and a bag of goodies and some much needed water. :) The volunteers did a wonderful job as did the people who directed us around the course. SO THANKYOU!

Thank You Helen Jones for being there for me, for supporting me, couldn't have done it without you. <3

Countdown.

Not long to go until the race now...

5 days and counting...

My dear friend Helen is going to watch me, isn't she great?

Anyway I shall post pictures up for you all of the event and everything :)


Until Sunday.

Thanks to whoever is reading

:)

70. Learn to Bake a Cake

Heya, so I made or tried to make a Red Velvet Cake today with the help of Iced Jems http://www.icedjems.com/ have a look at the website if you are looking for inspiration or want to experiment and become a professional chef or something.

It is an American cake for those who have not heard of it and is meant to be red, I had never heard of it before, was so light and fluffy!

Thanks to whoever is reading and Happy Good Friday!

Music.

Really liking Bruno Mars Just The Way You Are, it is such a sweet song don't you think? It's how it should be, what every lover/boyfriend/girlfriend should say. Wouldn't that be nice? To be loved for who we are, that they won't try and change us in any way 'you're amazing just the way you are' Magnifique.

Still training for the race for life, was a bit disheartened that I am not speeding along as far as I would wish but I am contemplating joining a running club for beginners.

Have you got any tunes that your really liking at the moment? I think mine are Mine- Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars- Just The Way You Are, Airplanes by Hayley Williams and B.O.B, Grace Potter and Bethany Joy Galeotti- I want something that I want, Fireflies- Owl City and Someone Like You- Adele. What about you? Any music you into at the moment which suits the time, that is upbeat makes you happy or whatever?

Atonement.

.We all make mistakes, feel really guilty about making them wondering why we made them in the first place, wanting to be forgiven for our sins, which some people could not forget. They could not find it in their hearts to trust us again, because in their eyes you had committed the ultimate betrayal.

So you tried to move on with you lives and forget the past, try to atone for your sins, for all that was wrong and the mistakes that you made. Hoping one day that we would be forgiven or else die old, feeling guilty for something so deep into our hearts that the burden never truly faded away.

The truth is that you cannot undo what has now been done, for your behaviour your sins, your address, your lack of selflessness, your  flaws, I am no angel I do not deny that. Were there reasons for what you did? Did you just make an honest naieve mistake? Or did it go deeper, was it intentional? Did you apologise, get down on one knee were you pushed away to the side, too much resided in you deep inside.Was there a cause was it two sided can you make or break it did everything coincide?

We are not perfect, we hold people to high standards believing that they would not harm you. What happens when they do? Will you crumble will you fall? Will you tumble far below?

Let time take you far, forgive yourself, try to think of the future and not the past, bring your hands together pray a little more, remind yourself, that you have come this far, that what defines you now is how you deal with that mistake. Will you repeat it or will you learn from it? Your choice, two forks in the road, which one will you decide?

Snap.

Funny how easily it can break in two
Become two halves instead of one, whole
Something left you so incomplete and bare
Something you never appreciated, I wish I had, darent.

Snap, the paper falls time moving slowly through gravity and space, everything evolving constantly round the globe we call earth, full of tiny dots little people moving with determination and tenacity.
Suddenly your not the person you remember, everything has changed.
Is this real is this a dream? Are we fast forward are we moving? Are we really here? Is your face pale so full of fear.
You cannot go back, delve into the wayward past, but I still remember along slow remembered walks and memories.

Suddenly your falling down, floating from the ground, rising in the air from above, glittering lights, like fairy dust twinkle smiling, like happiness, like love.

There is no rhyme or reason, no tale worth telling, nothing significant nothing too realistic.
Nothing too sad, but something buried deep, beyond that secret place where memories cannot be seen. Locked away hidden in a box, but you will never find it.
Beyond the realms of fantasy, of tall green jungles full of toucans tigers and monkeys, there is a place that nobody knows of,
Its just you and me baby, who cares if its just a dream. Its ours, its mine its yours and we're together for eternity.

The Bird, The Beauty and The Beast.

Lets walk these long remembered memories
Down lanes which have no ends
Where everything is okay
Working so hard resisting against everything you are
Because the truth is your no beauty but a beast


Have you looked into the mirror
What do you see are you replulsed
Tear drops may fall but dont worry Ill be fine
Im falling falling who will be there to catch me
Perhaps this is all just a distant dream
Suddenly see true beauty as
I opened my arms and sprouted wings.

Free as a bird that may be with ruffled feathers
Rustling against my reality
Open your eyes can you see, feel that sweet smelling breeze
Like a spirit ghost whispering sweet melodies
Is there a lightness against the black
Will there be life amongst the dank dire, crime and petrified


Are you my angel so pure and white
You are my angel delight
If you knew then what you know now
Would you still be here would you still kiss me love me regardless

Is this a dream where happy endings are not few and far between
Where there is fairy dust and make believe
There lies gravity in reality but not in someone elses dream
So I jump and spread my wings
And in the distance I hear a bird sing.

Rainbows never end.

These pearlescent tears that fell
When you ran far away
When you kept running and didnt look back
At everything you had left behind
The people, passers by, everything that mattered.

The seasons changed quickly
From summer to spring,
Autumn to winter,
Yet things still seem the same
Not everything how its meant to be
What did it all mean
Why can't I just leave
Why wont you leave me be


These floods of memories float back
To sunshine, laughing on grass
Picnics, friends oh how sublime
Laughed like we had no care in the world
Had everything we ever thought we wanted
Full of dreams, love hope and possibility
Suddenly everything has changed, impossibly
Not everything was how it was meant to be

Make yourself believe,
In yourself, in hope in destiny
That you will feel that way again
Where rainbows have no end
Innocent smiles, lollipop sticks,
With carefree rebellion
Flying away like beautiful butterflies
Floating into careless oblivion
So mesmerising, sweet and happy.

Breakdown.

I think that the reason why sometimes we end up having such difficulty, and one of the main reasons why relationships of any kind break down is because of a lack of communication. We dont say how we feel because we are too afraid that if we do, we will end up hurting the other person by either making them angry or hurt or upset. Or sometimes we are just afraid to stick up for ourselves, and tell someone that we are hurting inside, or that we think you think less of us or whatever reason. Its so dangerous because it means sometimes we think something which is not the case at all.
If we were to tell each other how we felt, everything would be a lot better, because even if it did hurt you would be able to begin to negotiate, to understand, to hug to cry to begin to make things better. If we dont understand why or that you are hurting in the first place, it just leads to more confusion.Yes the truth hurts, but at least once its out there once its been said you can try to deal with it somehow.

Possibility.

I think it is possible for anyone to do as they want if they truly want something, no matter how small they are, like the Lord of The Rings. Ever been so afraid of failing where everyone was counting on you, where the whole world depended on  it, and you would feel let down if you let them all down. I am watching it at the moment, there is one part that always makes me cry: when Boromir is saving the two hobbits, no matter how many arrows get stuck in him he keeps fighting, even though he is so clearly dying because he wanted to save the little ones. Its such a heartwarming scene, have you watched Lord of The Rings? Such a good trilogy and I found out today that the Hobbit is coming out!! ^_^ Happy times.

Sometimes we are so afraid of failing, we dont try at all, I think we should rather try and fail and perhaps succeed then dont try and fail. Its going to be okay. I guess we just have to have faith in ourself. Corny? I know it is, but is true.

Ponderings.

This is my Walks to Remember, but I wanted to put some other things in here as well, I hope that doesnt make you frown upon me. I just keep thinking about different things. I wish that we could just be who we were in society, I sometimes feel that we fear that we are going to be judged for who we are too much like the quote goes never judge a book by its cover. Its so hard to be ourselves, because lets face it people do judge us for being different. We're too fat, too skinny, straight, gay spotty,smooth skin. How are we ever supposed to be ourselves on this? So much meaning is placed on the outside, makes me think of beauty and the beast, which is a good story although I was afraid of the beast when I was younger I must admit. The teen years and childhood can be so difficult trying to find your place in the world, not being afraid of your own shadow hoping to fit in somehow. The thing is there is no such word as normal, different is good all the way. Such confusing times is teens years so much to think about, peer pressure, and many other things.

I am also in love with Adele at the moment particularly her song someone like you when I heard it on Comic Relief. Did any of you watch it?  Was so sad some of the things those people went through, makes you realise what you have right?

Enough of my philosophical rant. Please know your all beautiful as you are. Dont be afraid to be you. <3 Be brave, and bold there will always be people who will love you just as you are. Everyone else, doesnt matter. The saying goes of the people that say that stuff is the people who mind dont matter...

Thanks to whoever is reading this.

Race for Life Training Day 2

So today was my second day of training at the gym, and although it was quite hard work I felt an adrenaline rush everytime some good music came on. A bit of Bon Jovi and Colours of the Wind if you can believe it. Didnt feel quite as wobbly today, although I lost my water bottle under the treadmill, and didnt want to look stupid so didnt attempt to try and retrieve it. What a plank I am.

I am so determined to do this, it helps having a set date, as it gaves me a date to accomplish it by. Helps get me fitter too which is always an added bonus. After my first training session I could definitely feel it in my belly and my legs, and I shall probably be feeling it tomorrow. Shows my muscles are working I guess (which have not been used for a while ><) Even hurts to laugh :D. Hey Ho. One step at a time.

I think I might treat myself after have done some work and snuggle down and watch To Kill A Mockingbird. Ahh Bliss ^_^

Thanks to whoever is reading.

Race for Life Training day 1

I put this in my other blog but I am not sure if many people know its there so thought would put it here as well. So I signed up for the race for life as you know , and today I officially started training for it. I went to the gym, and am taking it slow to begin with as have decided to run it. Bought this useful book a while ago called Running for Beginners, just as well, it is proving very useful.

Gives you good tips not to mention motivational quotes from Martin Luther King something along the lines of taking one step at a time before climbing the entire staircase rings bells.

The music definitely helped, listening to Lady GaGa makes a workout so much more fun :D. Will have a rest tomorrow and then start up again on Wednesday. I felt a bit like Bridget Jones you know where shes decided to get fit and healthy and quit smoking and theres a picture of her on the cycle and she cycles so hard that when she came off, she fell off. I felt a bit like that except I didnt fall off, just felt a bit dizzy haha.

There was a guy who was running next to me was slightly intimidating, as he was running so fast, and all I could think was I wish I could run as fast and as good as that. Nevermind maybe someday hey?

Anyway Day 1, the programme lasts ten weeks as am not starting the race till 12th June. Will keep you updated who ever reads or is interested.

Race For Life

So I signed up for the Race for life which I am quite excited about :) even though it is 5km, I had better get into gear and start training. Have decided as well that I am going to run it, me RUNNING, haha now that may look interesting, but its all for a good cause. It will be on the 12th June, anyway I have been thinking about what I should wear, apparently that is half the fun, finding something funny to wear, people have worn pink bunny ears and things like that, so I shall have to come up with something. Make it more fun! :)

Sleepless in Seattle

So I watched this film yesterday and I liked it ^_^, slightly biased I suppose as I do rather like Tom Hanks, especially in films like Forrest Gump and You've Got Mail :). It is such a charming film, full of mystery, because you always wonder whether they are going to meet even though deep down you know that they will. The kid was also very sweet, you see how much the father cares about his son Jonas, because he is the only thing he has left, the only reason for his existance.

Perhaps these sort of films also help you to believe that amazing things can happen! That if you do believe in those sort of things that everything happens for a reason, fate, destiny.

Believe in your dreams everyone. 'Someday you'll see. It will all be worth it' - Chris Gallatin

We all deserve a little love and happiness, believe in something more. Anything is possible.

Greatest Books Ever Written

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe


Finished this book last night, and I must say there is one point in the book that makes me cry. Makes me cry in the film everytime, and it made me cry in the book not to spoil anything of course. In comparison to the film I did feel that they did quite a good job but of course there are little quirks which never quite live up to the book. I did also find in the book that I had more sympathy for Edmund than I did in the film, where I felt he did not deserve as much. Yet C.S Lewis does try and help us to understand why he did what he did, this and the fact that he was only a boy. I enjoyed this book and look forward to the next chapter..

One of the greatest things about these types of books, is that you can lose yourself in another world, oh if only there was a magical world beyond the wardrobe, maybe there could be..?